A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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