Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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