I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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