Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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