I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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