Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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