so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
