apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
