About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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