where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
