i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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