margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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