I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
