you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
