put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
