I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
