Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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