so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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