You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
