And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
