he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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