i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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