Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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