he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
