watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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