but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize