Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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