erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
