i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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