Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
