those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
