Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
