based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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