Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
