And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Too much gin, very little bucket
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
