Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
