Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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