# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
