its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
