If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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