so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You are the jesus of drinking
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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