I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
