champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
