I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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