I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
