I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it hurts more in the daytime
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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