You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
