i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
