i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
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I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
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i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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