i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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