kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
