I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
