Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
