My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
