can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
