I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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