youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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